Fullmetal Dare: Fear Factor
by o0IzumiSensei0o
Summary: Part 3 of Fullmetal Dare! Will Alphonse ever get his kitty? Will Kimbley finally achieve his dream of becoming a preschool teacher? And where are all these dead people coming from! Read and find out! Rated M for language. No flames, please!


Me: Yes after some thought I have finally decided to write another Fullmetal Dare!

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Havoc: Why, God, why!

Me: I thought you died in the last one.

Ed: Zombie!

Envy: Has anyone seen my sharpies?

Everyone: (Looks at Ed and Colonel Bastard)

Ed: Last time I saw them, Wrath had them.

Roy: Shut up Bitch!

Me: Izumi, will you kill those two for me when you get the chance?

Izumi: Gladly (takes Ed and Roy away)

Me: Hey Lust, we never hear from you. Will you do the disclaimer?

Lust: o0IzumiSensei0o owns nothing except for a candy bar. Also this story is not meant to bash any characters, she's just having fun and loves us all.

Wrath: Wait did I just miss the disclaimer? I thought I was your favorite! (cries)

Everyone: Shut the hell up!

* * *

Roy: so did you ever get your sharpies back?

Envy: Pride got a hold of them, and wont give 'em back.

Ed: Wanna play 'Screw or Dare'?

Envy: How come that's the only fuck'in game you know?

Ed: Believe in yourself!

Envy: No, I'm sick and tired of believing in myself!

Ed: Oh no! My "Believe in yourself" powers are fading! I must return to Rismbool! (rushes out)

Envy: What the hell, Edward!

Hughes: (randomly rushes in)

Envy: I thought I killed you!

Hughes: Shut the fuck up!

Roy: What the hell's so important!

Hughes: I have new pictures of my daughter!

Envy: Gimme! (jacks pictures)

Hughes: NOOOOOO!

Roy: Shut up bitch.

Wrath: Look, Envy, Mommy gave me some sharpies!

Envy: Which Mommy?

Wrath: Sloth

Roy: (stares at sharpies) Gimme! (jacks sharpies)

Wrath: (cries)

Ed: (Rushes back in) Believe in yourself!

Wrath: Yeah…I will…(stares off into space)

* * *

As usual, they are high:

Ed: The…the magical…colorful sticks have given us …strength!

Roy: y-yay!

Envy: Wrath y-you're sooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuute.

Ed: The reason why h-he's sooooo cuuuute is because h-he stole y-your cuuuuuteness, Palm tree!

Envy:…..

Wrath:…..

Envy: Give me back my fuck'in cuteness!

Roy: Shut- shut up bitch!

Havoc: Hey guys I-I figured how t-to smoke these… colorful stick thingies. They-they are soooooo coooool!

Roy: Group hug!

Everyone: Shut up Roy!

Wrath: You guys wanna play 'The Truth Dare'?

Ed:…..(5 hours later)…..yeah.

* * *

Riza: Are you guys high again?

Ed: No, I didn't sleep with Barney! Gosh, Riza keep your damn comments to yourself!

Riza: Yup, that explains it.

Izumi: Why the hell did you bring us to this hell hole!

Ed: We are playing 'Shit the Truth' do deal!

Al: Brother, I think it's called _'Truth or Dare' _.

Ed: Gosh Al, I don't want to have sex with you!

Fury: I don't think he said that.

Ed: Zombie! (kills Fury)

Hohenhiem: You slept with Barney?

Ed: Old man, that's old news.

Rose: You're cheating on me?

Ed: Yes.

Winry: You were fucking around with Barney the Dinosaur and that bitch Rose? You Bastard! (chucks wrench)

Trisha: I'm really disappointed in you.

Ed: Shut up, you're dead! You're not people like us!

Lust: Are we going to get this over with or what?

Roy: Shut up bitch!

Lust: That's not what you said last night.

Tucker: Oh, pwned!

Envy: Where are all these dead people coming from!

Ed: Believe in yourself!"

Tucker: Yeah…I will…(stares off into space)

* * *

Ed: Okay I dare Colonel Bastard to kiss Gluttony.

Roy: Gladly! (attempts to make out with Gluttony)

Gluttony: (eats Roy)

Ed: Okay, now that we've gotten rid of him, let's start the **actual** game.

Everyone:….

Wrath: I dare Greed to get a life!

Greed (original) and Lin: Which one?

Wrath: Whichever one who doesn't have one!

Greed (original) and Lin: Yeah, we know, which one?

Wrath:….

Lin: Well, just for the record, I am a prince!

Izumi: No one frick'in cares!

Greed: I own stuff.

Lust: Yeah, so does everyone else!

Greed: I hang out at the Devil's Nest with drunk old guy's!

Wrath: Good enough! Greed wins the dare!

Greed: Yay!

Roy: Shut up bitch!

Al: I dare Havoc to give me a kitty!

Havoc: Fuck you!

Ed: Believe in yourself.

Havoc: Yeah…. I will… (stares off into space)

* * *

Winry: I dare Ed to stop breaking his automail for a week.

Ed: Just watch me bitch!

Roy: (Climbs out of Gluttony) Damn you frigg'n shorty!

Ed: Who the hell are you calling so short he can be put in a jewelry box!

Roy: I didn't say that!

Havoc: Will you two shut the hell up and let me go!

Ed and Roy:…

Havoc: I dare Tucker to turn Scar into a Chimera!

Tucker: I'll try!

Scar: Oh no you wont! (blows Tucker's brains out)

Ed: Holy crap!

Scare: Don't think I've forgotten about you, midget.

Ed: Holy mother of pearl!

Winry: I dare Ed to sign up for Fear Factor!

Ed: Hell yeah! I slept with Barney do this'll be nothing!

Later…

Announcer Guy: Welcome to Fear Factor. Our first round will be pretty easy. Are you ready!

Ed: Bring it!

Announcer Guy: Ok, all you have to do is drink this gallon of milk!

Ed: (stares at milk)….Fuck you! (runs out)

* * *

Riza: You didn't even make it through the first round?

Ed: Shut up. Sleeping with Barney is nothing compared to drinking milk!

Hughes: Um, can I go?

Ed: I don't see why not.

Hughes: Well okay then. I dare everyone to look at pictures of my darling wife and adorable daughter Elicia! ( Hand out pictures)

Envy: (Kills himself)

Ed: What the hell was that for!

Envy: (comes back to life) you know, every time I want to die, I can't.

Hughes: So should we discuss how these pictures make us feel?

Ed: Kill the guy with glasses!

Everyone: (charges at Hughes)

Hughes: (With the power of awesomeness, lives)

Ed: Believe in your- (bashed in the face by Izumi)

Izumi: Say that crap one more time while I'm hear, and I'll make sure you'll never make it to your next birthday!

Scar: Agreed! Kill the little Bastard!

Ed: Who are you calling a microscopic Bean Sprout!

* * *

King Bradley: I dare Lin to go back to his own country and take the girl with the weird black and white cat with him.

Lin: Fine, once I get what I came here for. (kills Bradley and takes his philosopher's stone) see ya!

Everyone:…..!

Pride (Little one): (does freaky shadow thing and kills Lin)

King Bradley: (Restored) I win!

Ed: Believe in yourself!

King Bradley: Yeah…I will…(stares off into space)

Izumi: Okay Ed, see what happens!

* * *

Scar: I dare May to let me pet that black and white cat.

Lust: what the hell is wrong with you people, cant you see that it's a freak'in panda!

Scar: (snatches panda) how dare you say such things about poor little Xiao Mei! (cuddles)

Everyone:…..(twitches)….

* * *

Envy: I'm going next. I dare Dante to kiss Selim.

Everyone: WTF!

Dante: No way in hell!

King Bradley: (Protectively holding Pride) What kind of sicko are you!

Everyone: (Glares at Envy angrily)

Envy: You're the only ones who are sickos! I was only meaning a kiss on the-

Ed: On the what you creep! On-the-what!

Envy:…Cheek…

Everyone:….

Roy: What kind of lame-ass dare is that! I thought we were really going to see some action!

Pride: (Kills Roy)

* * *

Kimblee: I dare you guys to let me teach at a preschool!

Olivier: I don't see why not, go right on ahead.

Everyone: Objection!

Kimblee: Why not?

Ed: Let's go back to the first series, why don't we. (flash back)

Kimblee: Well the truth is like making women and children go Boom!

(Flash back end)

Olivier:…so?

Everyone:!

Kimblee: (skips happily to a preschool)

Ed: Believe in yourself!

Kimblee: (looking out the window) Yeah…I will…(stares off into space)

* * *

Roy: Hey, I was just thinking, isn't that the school that Elicia goes to? (points at school)

Hughes: (dramatic camera zoom-in) NOOOOOOOO!

(Preschool blows up)

Everyone:…..

Greed: Well, better them than us.

Everyone: (kills Greed)

Greed: (Back to life) Just say'in it like it is.

Everyone: (kill Greed)

* * *

Ed: I dare Scar to arm wrestle me!

Scar: (blows up Ed's automail) I win.

Winry: Ha, you lose both dares!

Ed: (Cries)

Envy: I dare Izumi to make out with Hohenhiem!

Izumi: (death glare at Envy)

Hohenhiem: (Jumps out of 10 story window and runs like hell)

Ed and Roy: Aww!

Izumi: (Kills both)

Ed: (Comes back to life with the power of awesomeness)

After the game…

* * *

Al: Well, once again, that was a waste of time.

Ed: Al, do you hear that?

Al: What? More Zombies?

Ed: Damn, I'm out of ammo! Gimme your head!

Al: W-wait what!

(horde of Zombies appear)

Ed: (Dramatically holding Al's head) I believe in myself.

Izumi: (Kills Ed)

* * *

A/N: Well that was part 3. I'm not sure when I'll right another one, but I'll try. (send me suggestions if you like). As usual reviews are welcome. To clarify a few things though, "Left 4 Dead" and this whole zombie thing is from a video game and "Believe in yourself" is just something I made up. If you have not read the previous parts of the story, I would highly recommend it. Thank you to all who have reviewed on my other Fullmetal Dare stories. (no flames please)


End file.
